Evening positive: a selection of the best jokes

Вечер на позитиве: подборка лучших анекдотов

Laugh heartily.

Halloween has passed and soon will fall the first snow, and there before Christmas near. Isn’t it a reason for joy? If not, then we know that… jokes! Our selection of witty anecdotes will cure you from depression and give a charge of positive mood for the year ahead. The result is guaranteed, reports the Chronicle.info with reference to znaj.ua. ✱ ✱ ✱

Diver is a profession, when working as the water lowered.

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If you can’t sleep, turn on the ringtone for the alarm. The brain will think that it is time to work, and just wants to sleep.

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The generation that charged water has a TV, condemns the generation that catches pokemon phone.

✱ ✱ ✱ – Hello, it’s you call from the SBU.

I know.

– Where?

You I turned off the cell phone phoned.

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Signed up for the training “How not to be deceived”.

Expensive, of course, but what to do?..

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If you woke up one morning and you have the feeling that you overslept for work, then get some rest another hour, so that the feeling grew in confidence.

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One night, Dostoevsky was awakened by a phone call:

– Fyodor, I, Chernyshevsky, today is my first wedding night WHAT to DO?!

That same night, Dostoevsky began to write the novel “the Idiot”…

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– Mom, if you won’t give me money for ice cream, then as soon as we enter the bus, I’ll call you a grandmother!

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Comes a physics teacher at the temple and speaks to the priest:- Tell me, sir, if you want to teach your religion in schools, can we teach science in your churches?

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Money in retirement in the country is not enough.And not because she feeds too many retirees.And because it feeds too many billionaires.

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Request to parents. Making the child finish them to the end.

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– Where do you keep your money?- Mostly in memory.

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In the bus. Girl, you go out?- Oh, do not take anybody!

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If you are caught in a lie – you need something to lie.

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